I wrote this over a month ago and have waited to post my cohesive thoughts. I’ve been vocal on other platforms, and I think it’s time for this one as well. But at this point, I want to encourage further conversation geared at a different audience.
I have had numerous conversations with friends and family. Family is the hardest. I am a passionate and emotional person, two qualities that make it hard for me to stay in a neutral affect when having tough conversations. I like to see the best in people. I want inclusion, I love supporting others, and I try to find solutions. Unfortunately, there are no simple solutions to this one. Nothing is black and white, as my dad and I discussed the last time I was home.
I’ve gathered that where people stand is more of a generational divide. I think it is essential to have conversations with people who think differently, but both parties need to be open-minded and willing to listen to understand.
The reality that I see is that police have been using excessive force against the black community for decades, whether they committed a crime or were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
As a white female, I will never be able to understand.
But I want to.
When I was heavily researching and absorbing this information, I was staying with Andrew. On numerous occasions, he came home to find me dry heaving with a documentary paused, crying while listening to my friends tell me about their experiences or venting about things that I learned that day that made me mad!
He went about this next concern of his exceptionally well. He said, “I love how much you care for everyone, but I see it consuming you. I don’t want you to stop learning and talking about these topics; they are important. But I do want you to control how much you are consuming at a time. It’s affecting you mentally and physically since it’s all you’re doing.” [a fair assessment] He said, “I don’t like seeing you sad and drained all the time, and you have assignments to finish.” [I was in the thick of my last semester]
I was still crying while I incomprehensibly said, “Good! Let me be sad. Let me feel these feelings because it will never compare to what other people have had to deal with.” I was so angry, but I decided to take a step back.
I will never have to worry about being perceived as threatening, and when a cop pulls me over, I’m just scared to get in trouble because those in a position of power to serve and protect will protect me. Others are not as fortunate. I believe this inconsistency is due to implicit biases that form over time; based on someone’s experiences. Human’s unconsciously or consciously create assumptions about people in their heads. This action makes you human. Everyone’s view of the world and the people in it is shaped based on their experiences.
I want to clarify real quick, I love cops, I know many amazing cops and I mean no disrespect to them. Simply bringing to light systemic issues within healthcare, school systems and the justice system.
All I want to do today is challenge you who might be reading this to confront your implicit bias. Confront where your thoughts go when you come across people; homeless people, people who look different than you, and those with differing jobs.
Is this a fair judgment?
How would I feel if someone thought this of me?
Am I acting with compassion?
What did they do that made me think ______ and why?
There are so many different variations of America right now.
There is a white American’s reality.
A black American’s reality.
A female’s reality.
A male’s reality.
The LGBTQ reality.
If we combine any of these categories, a new reality emerges.
Ex. Transgender female
All of these realities are fiercely different than each other. It is important to note that just because one may be different from yours does NOT mean it isn’t true. It just means you haven’t personally experienced it.
If you have the opportunity, I encourage you to listen, learn, and realize that just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it isn’t valid.
Better yet, create the opportunity- start the conversation.
In 2016 Will Smith said, “Racism isn’t getting worse, it’s getting filmed.” How accurate and how sad is that statement? How sad is it that I have learned more these past few months than I did throughout 12 years in grade school learning about American history?
I don’t know about you, but when I learned about the Civil Rights Movement, I was taught slavery existed, then the emancipation proclamation came about, and all men were declared free. When we learned about the Civil Rights Movement, we learned about Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr, and Malcolm X, how they fought for equality. After all of this, everyone was just equal. That was it.
Or so I thought, this was thanks to my privilege, which is no fault of my own. Just a different reality, how can you be aware of something if you have limited exposure? If you rarely saw the other side?
You can’t.
Since diving headfirst into the deep end on Systemic Racism and how ingrained in society it stems.
I have learned about Claudette Colvin, who was 15 years old and pregnant and decided not to give up her seat. I feel compelled to add that she also became a nurse. [Yay for advocacy in and outside the profession!]
I have learned about racial bias in sentencing, policing, and schools.
I have learned about the “Central Park 5”.
I have learned about redlining and how those effects are still impacting people today.
I have learned about Juneteenth!! This one really shook me that I hadn’t learned about it previously.
I have expanded on disparities and microaggressions in HEALTHCARE!
I have watched meaningful conversations with Emmanuel Acho, a great introductory platform for these discussions linked at the bottom.
If we think about it, people don’t just throw out a belief system they held for 20 plus years. Wrong or not, if you grow up thinking the sky is red, you will likely defend that narrative until you die because that is all you know.
Let’s be open to unlearning, relearning, and listening.
I’ve done some research (really only scratching the surface), I’ve listened. I implore you to do the same but, more importantly, come to the table with an open mind.
I’m only going to recommend informational outlets I have listened to, watched, and currently reading or have read. But there are countless others, and more on my list as well.
Podcasts (I listen on my drives to & from work)
- 1619
- Pod for the cause
Films
- Get Out
- If Beale Street Could Talk
- Just Mercy
- The Hate U Give
Netflix
- Dear white people
- 13th
- When they see us now
Books
- Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell
- White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo
- So you want to talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo
- Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools by Monique Morris
- Under Our Skin by Benjamin Watson
Other links:
Emmanuel Acho – https://uncomfortableconvos.com/
Systemic Racism – https://time.com/5851855/systemic-racism-america/
Thanks for being here.
Love you
– Nic
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